Flowers for Your Grave
by xfirexfalconx
Summary: Naraku, after meeting with Kikyou on the anniversery of his creation...and the beginning of her impending doom...begins a journey that may answer the true reason of his creation. Naraku's PoV, please RR. M for situations and language.
1. Prelude to Insanity

A/N: I do not own InuYasha. If I did,Naraku would be doing the disco dance on the Inu-tachi's graves by now. :P This fanfic is from Naraku's point of view, and in the prelude he is addressing Kikyou internally. -Ahh, the inside speeches.-Just so fanfiction dot net doesn't think this is an interactive story...-sigh- Please read and review,and enjoy the ride. :D

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**Flowers For Your Grave **_-Prelude-_

Your eyes are burning into my soul. I see your pale, timeless face, and the familiar hatred in your gaze. But for a moment...just a moment...I thought I saw pity. Regret. Desire...all things that I myself have felt at one time or another, though I fear the day that I ever admit it to you. Maybe you already know...

Either way, it doesn't really matter. It was only a dream. I dream of you often, Kikyou. Surprisingly, they're not full of murderous rage, as I try to make InuYasha and you think...Surprising to me, anyhow. You always seemed to know me too well. Does death bring some sort of hidden knowledge...? Maybe I'll ask you someday, as I am not willing to find out for myself.

It was one of these dream-filled nights that I awoke, and left the safety of my castle. Kanna, so like you in so many ways, knew what I was doing. Kagura tried to stop me with her useless yammering and interrogation, but I brushed her aside like the cast-off she always has been. You know I hate being questioned.

You always knew what I disliked.

The night was cold. But my skin, no longer mortal, is cooler than snow...I barely felt the dew under my bare feet, or the rolling fog as I neared the river. When I had been human, and weak, these were the nights that you would visit me after dark, to keep my company...

You always knew what I needed.

I saw the river, shimmering in the moonlight, and suddenly...there you are, standing beside a single, forlorn stone. So close to me...and as far away as ever. The smell of damp earth and herbs coils around my senses. This time, you are no dream.

Your gaze met mine, and for a moment, I saw the smouldering contempt there in your eyes...and in my heart. Our wills battled for the barest of seconds; I relented first, and looked away. There was no need for you to tell me that my willpower, compared to yours, was nothing but sand against the ocean tide. We already knew.

"...I brought flowers."

I looked to you. Kikyou...how long had it been since I heard anything but anger in your tone? The softness of it took me by surprise. Then I noticed the flowers in your arms, bright red lillies. So like your blood, that had stained my claws...had it been fifty-five years, already? Five years since you came alive, and that blasted InuYasha began to hunt me, along with your supposed reincarnation...a pale shadow in comparison.

"For your grave," you added, almost a whisper.

I watch as you placed the flowers beside the stone, marked only by the symbol _gumo_..."spider." You kneeled there for what seemed like hours, and I let you place your hands upon the stone, chanting the spell of purification. It was something I had come to expect over the years...

But I wasn't expecting the way your shoulder trembled, rising to your face with tears trailing down your perfect cheeks. My pathetic heart ached for your pain, your suffering. Did it please you, Kikyou, to know that you are the only one that could hurt me?

You stepped foreward the same time as I, and you wrapped your arms around me in a tight embrace. Kikyou...my Kikyou...these moments shouldn't have had to been made of sadness. I nestled my cheek to yours, feeling tears sting my own eyes. After a few, silent heartbeats, I turned my face so that our gazes matched. You didn't move as my lips touched yours, and we stood there for the longest of times, until I felt your thin hands press against my chest, gently pushing me back.

Breaking our kiss...as all good things must end...you moved away, turning from me. A meaningful glance over your shoulder reminded me that. once again, we were enemies. At least...until next year. With a faded smile, you bowed your head and disappeared into the night. I was alone with my thoughts.

I glanced at the grave. My grave. The grave of Onigumo, who had died so many years ago...or had tried to die, at any rate. My heart was beating like a startled rabbit in my chest, not letting me forget that I still possessed a shred of my former existance. Sometimes I hate it, sometimes I rejoice it...right now, I pondered it.

It was this day...the day in which demons consumed the flesh of a bandit, and gave birth to a new evil. It would only be a week from this day, in which that newly born devil would work out a master plan, to gain full power and to win the object of his desire for himself. It would only be a week from this day, where he would fail...

I smiled dryly. A whole week of self-pity and loathing...your true gift to me. A whole week to wonder how I managed to fuck things over so badly. With a sigh, I turned from the river, and began a slow walk towards my new destination. If I didn't use my powers, and slowed myself with contemplation, I would arrive there in exactly a week. This year, I would break from my rituals; I wouldn't be going home, this time...This time, I would face my past.

Thus began my dark pilgrimage, the feeling of your touch not far from my mind. I looked towards the stars, my chest feeling heavy. For so long, I had run...my gaze dropped back to the ground. I hated feeling this way...disturbed. Lost. Alone. Perhaps that is the way you wanted to make me feel, Kikyou. To feel as lost as you are, so that I would face what happened. Whatever your scheme, it worked. I was doing what I had put off doing for too long.

You weren't the first in a long line of fortune turned sour, dear Kikyou. I think you knew this; you knew everything else. But then, you must have also known how I tried to forget...no longer. This year...I would try. Try to remember, and try to ask you...ask you...

I rubbed my hand over my eyes, and walked foreward. It seemed the more I walked, the foggier my surroundings became, until I was no longer in the darkness of the summer night. Instead, I was racing through the dim sunlight and dead leaves of autumn...indeed, my very soul...


	2. Saving the Family

**Flowers for Your Grave **_-Chapter One - 65 Years Earlier -_

"Oni-sama, wait for me!"

I slowed my run into a walk, the dry leaves of fall crackling under my feet. My younger sister ran up behind me, panting with exhaustion. I scowled a bit, ruffling her short, black hair, and laughed when she tackled me.

"You aren't supposed to run off and leave me like that, Onigumo!" she said, putting her hands on her hips and giving me an indignant sigh. "I'm going to tell mother on you."

Grinning, I flipped and pinned her. "Not if I leave you here to get eaten by the kappas. They come out around this time, you know, stalking little kids just...like...you..."

"I'm not little! I'm six years old, and--"

"Five," I corrected, letting her up and brushing myself off. "Your birthday isn't for another two days."

She was quiet for a few minutes, but then began to walk towards home. I followed her, and for some time were travelled through the thick forests in silence. It was almost winter, the first frost already past. Though it wasn't too long after mid-day, the sun was beginning to cast long shadows across the ground, and smaller woodland animal had begun packing food away for the winter. I stopped, watching a squirrel with huge cheeks, and pointed it out to my sister, who giggled.

"He looks like you at dinner, Oni-sama," she said maliciously, then squealed and ran the rest of the way as I chased her, threatening to send her to the kappas.

As we neared our small home near the treeline, a foot suddenly stuck from the shadows, and I went flying, hitting the dust face first. Coughing, I stood and turned to my attacker. The raven-haired girl snorted, stepping from the trees and walking past me, hitting me with her shoulder on the way towards the house.

"Watch where you're going, little brother," she laughed, letting the door slam in my face.

I grit my teeth. All too often, when I had been out walking with Hakori and showed signs of enjoying life, my elder sister Oyama managed to remind me I was lower on the food chain than she was. Or, so she thought. Shaking the dust from my hair, I opened the door and tried to control my anger at the site of Oyama's self-righteous expression.

"Honest, mama, Oni-chan didn't make me walk home on my own," Hakori told our mother, who was giving me a disapproving look. "He was right behind me...weren't you, brother?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but Oyama butt in. "The child decieves you, mother. You know how she always covers for him; believe me. I came in before him...he was dwaddling around outside."

My mother, Kiriko, sighed. "Onigumo, you're over sixteen summers old. When are you going to learn that you can't just wander off and leave your little sister off in--"

"I didn't," I protested, cutting her off. "Mother, Oyama always exaggerates. Besides, she..."

My words died as my mother stared me down. Guilty or innocent...I had lost the argument, either way. My hands clenched at my sides, but I bowed my head and forced the words from my mouth.

"Gomen nasai, okaasan," I mumbled. "I'll watch Hakori more closely in the future."

She paused, flicking a glance at my elder sister. "And you, Oyama. As a woman of nineteen seasons, shouldn't you be finding a husband already?"

Sweet retrobution! I looked up in glee, seeing the embarressed look on Oyama's face. Ah, the vain little viper, blushing like a bright red apple. She gave me a deathglare, the turned and stormed from the tiny enterance, heading towards her room. Mother only gave me a faint smile, before turning and watching the door. I took Hakori's hand, leading her to the room we shared. Mother always watched the door when our father was about to come home. They never liked to talk about things in front of us, and not even Oyama could listen in without getting chided.

Sure enough, as I watch my sister braid reeds for a new tatami mat, I heard the front door pop open. Low murmurs taunted my hearing, and Hakori looked up briefly, her expression at once curious, blank, and serene. She went back to her weaving, but with more enthusiasm this time. Soon, she had a whole row done, and I began to help her.

"Do you think he brought me anything?" she asked suddenly.

I blew my longer, black bangs from my face, taking a rest. "He always brings you something."

"I meant..._something. _For...you know. My birthday."

Looking at the floor, I frowned. Ever since our family mill was burned down during a fight between war-lords, our father had resorted to thievery in order to keep us alive. We'd lost everything...and with all the fighting, there was little work. It wasn't the best way to survive, but...Her question troubled me. The most our father had ever brought home was food, and sometimes fabrics and ceramics. Nothing too fancy.

"I'm sure he did," I lied. How could anyone tell her differently? But I saw by the way she glanced at me, that she knew I was lying. I'd always loved the fact that she was like me...quiet, sensible, and smart as a whip. Sometimes, though, it bit me in the ass, and this was one of those times.

Suddenly, the screen to our room opened, and I was looking at a much older version of me. With his amber, almost reddish eyes, and long black haired pulled into a braid, my father often mused about how I got all his charm and none of his testosterone. Was there something wrong with not wanting to kill other people, I wondered. Somehow, the idea of going onto a battlefield and slaughtering countless people seemed unreasonable, as did the idea of chasing after women half my age in order to produce little people who resembled me (or not, if I wasn't the first man to get to said woman).

"I wish to speak to you," father said shortly, raising an eyebrow at my tatami weaving. Once again, I thought with amusment as I stood and went into the main room, I provided an example of my unmanliness.

My mother looked worried, and that was the first thing that set off the proverbial red flags. But when my father sat next to my mother, and they both stared at me, I knew something was wrong. I just never knew how correct I was.

"Son...we have a problem," my father started off slowly. "There's not enough food coming in to last us the winter."

I tried to swallow, but it stuck in my throat. "W-what are you saying?"

My mother looked at the ground. "Dear one, you're going to have to help your father."

The silence in the air was filled with a tension, and I heard the tiny sound of feet on floor. Slow, quiet...I knew it was Oyama. She always tried to stick her nose where it didn't belong...I tried to turn and look, but I felt frozen. Me...become a thief...? I didn't even have the faintest idea...

"It's time for you to take responsibility for your family," my father added quietly. "You're the only other man in this house. You have your mother and sisters to think about...not just your own comfort."

Hakori's face entered my mind, her pale features...her sadness. What would happen to her, if we didn't get what we needed...? Taking a breath, I looked my father in the eye, and I was surprised by the ruthless tone in my voice.

"So, then, my father. Where do I begin?"

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Two days later, I kneeled before my little sister, smiling as I handed her the packaged item. My father gave me a proud look, esepcially when Hakori opened it and gazed at the porcelain doll, dressed in a tiny version of the empress' attire. Her eyes widened, hugging it to her chest as shegazed at me in awe. And from that moment, I knew that I was doing what I had to do...what was right. Thief or no...I would make sure my family survived, no matter the cost.


	3. Blood

**Flowers for Your Grave **_-Chapter Two - 65 Years Earlier -_

It was the beginning of _chuutou_, when my father and I set out for a small village about two miles to the North. I rose hours before dawn, when the moon still shone it's light upon the snowy ground. I slipped on the black robes over my normal clothing, pulling the black mask across my face. I looked over at Hakori...she was still sleeping. Good.

My father was waiting for me at the door, and we began our journey. It was only half an hour into the walk that my feet went numb, but I had grown used to such things. It had been nearly a month since I had begun my new career, and already I was becoming one of the better thieves in the area. My father had put together a small band of other commoners, who had no food or money. We were half-way to our destination when the other joined up with us, having gone ahead to scout for trouble the day before.

"They got guards," a rough man named Haidaji grumbled. "Demonslayer bunch. It's going to be a difficult strike."

"But not impossible," my father replied cooly. It was a statement, not a question. Haidaji and the three others looked unsure, but my father simply smiled and kept walking. I followed, and so did they.

The moon set, and the sun had not yet risen when we arrived. We went along the outside walls, as Haidaji explained the weak point he found in the guard-wall. A shrimpy looking fellow named Tsumaki, tiny compared to the bear-like Haidaji, gave up tips to the locations of certain stores, and places were there was food. Kukaku and Kukeku, twins, only nodded grimly and pulled out the hemp bags. We all took one, then began our mission.

My father easily scaled the small wall, as did Tsumaki and the twins. I, however, got stuck trying to help Haidaji over. After about three tries, we finally made it. Somehow, we didn't get noticed, which to me was more proof of a higher power than any religious text. My father motioned towards a smaller hut, and I nodded, keeping to the shadows. We didn't have much time before the sun rose, and we were caught.

The hut had a simple lock, which after a moment of tinkering, mearly fell off. I grinned, and stepped inside. The smell of cured pork and meat assaulted my nose, and if there is a heaven, that was it. I quickly began putting items in the bag, trying to take as much as possible, but not so much that the owners would notice first thing in the morning. Soon, the pack was nearly half-full, and I turned to walk out the door.

A large dog barred my path. I froze, and kept my eyes on the snarling animal. We'd had dogs chase us before...and it never turned out well. Taking a breath, I stepped towards it, hoping it would run. Instead, it lunged. With a yelp, I ducked, and ran for the door. I made it about ten feet, before pain shot through my leg as the hound clamped onto my ankle. I couldn't help it...I cried out. And I knew...I knew it was then I had sealed my fate.

My father came from nowhere it seems, slamming the dog on the head with a wooden board. Kukaku and Kukeku were already over the wall when I heard someone shouting, and saw the guards moving. Haidaji was even over the wall. I scrambled to my feet, but my father had to grasp my arm in order for me to even walk, let alone run. He threw my halfway up the wall before I heard the whistle of arrows, and a scream. I looked down from the top of the wall, only in time to see the arrow peirce my father's neck. There was nothing I could do, as he dropped lifeless to the ground, blood pouring around him in a pool.

A scythe weapon went towards my head, but I dropped to the other side before it struck me. The others were already off like a shot, and I could only run after them at half-speed. All I could see was my father, my sensei, as the blood poured from him...I don't know for how many miles I ran, before my breath came out in wheezing, rattle gasps. I was only aware of the shape of my little home as I dragged myself to the front door, collapsing just as my mother opened it.

"Onigumo...oh, gods...Oyama, grab his other arm, now isn't the time to be prissy about blood..."

They set me near the fireplace, and I could feel the icecicles melting from my face and hair as I shivered and wept. No one spoke, but I could feel their questions and despair. Finally, as my mother wrapped a hot bandage around my leg, I managed to find my voice.

"Father...is dead..." I choked, my chest heaving.

"...I know, child. I know."

I hear Hakori sob, and I could almost see Oyama out of the corner of my eye. Something in her eyes...something frightened me. It was one of the few times in my life that I felt sudden dread take over me, the endless kind that threatens to swallow you alive. My mother began to sing, putting on hand on my shoulder, and holding Hakori in her other arm. It may have been an hour or seven, but it was a long time before my eyelids dropped, and I fell into a restless sleep.

All I know is that when I awoke, my mother was dead.


	4. Escape

**Flowers for Your Grave **_-Chapter Three - 65 years earlier- _

"Why...?"

I raised my head from my arms, my sore eyes burning from the sudden ray of dim, winter sunlight. Hakori sat on the other side of the two mounds of rock and snow, her nose running slightly, and cheeks pink from the bitter cold. I tried to answer. I couldn't.

"Why, Oni-sama," she whispered again, eyes wide and filled with tears. "Why did mama kill herself?"

"Hush, Ha-chan," Oyama suddenly said, appearing from the house and walking to us. My lip curled instinctively, and I stood, walking to meet her.

"You knew," I snarled lowly, meeting her steely glare with one of my own. "You knew okaasan was going to do this."

Oyama waved her hand a bit, her eyes flat and uncaring. "So what if I did? What good would it have been to tell you? Not like you could have stopped--"

A silence fell over the clearing as my hand connected with my sister's face, the sound of the slap harsh even in my own ears. Oyama touched the red mark, looking shocked, then enraged. Her teeth bared, she lunged at me, grabbing my wrist and jerking me to the ground.

"How DARE you?" she hissed. "Vile worm! I am GLAD they are gone, for now I can be free of this place, and be free of you!"

I twisted my arm and pulled, forcing her to the ground with me, and pinned her neck to the snow with my elbow. "You are a part of this family!" I replied with a growl. "As such, you will NEVER be free. And if you run away, if you try to leave, I assure you Oyama. You will never, ever be free of me, or my wrath."

My older sister trembled in fury, and scrambled to her feet when I stood and released her throat, her hands tightened into fists. I saw Hakori out of the side of my vision, weeping loudly. With a final glower, she turned and stormed back into the house. My stomach twisted, and sighing, I went to Hakori's side, sinking beside her and hugging her tightly to my chest.

"I'm sorry," I murmured into her ear. "Hakori...I'm so sorry..."

She took a breath, and her crying stopped. I pulled back, worried for a moment that perhaps she'd fainted. But...no...I frowned,seeing the way her eyes had gone dark, staring out into the woods. The light, the shimmer of child-like hope, had vanished, replaced by a void full of darkness. My sister looked up at me, and I felt despair as she smiled listlessly.

"We will continue on," Hakori said shortly, then stood, offering me her hand. I blinked, then took it, and she helped me to my feet. Wordlessly, we walked back to the house, hand in hand.

I thought it was the worst it could be. I was proven wrong.

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"No, Oyama. You must not go."

I awoke, sitting up from the wall I had leaned against in my room. My back ached from the awkward position, but I was too intent on listening to even notice.

"I have had my hand asked for in marraige," Oyama huffed. "I will go, get married, and then fetch you. The man is a lord, and is very rich. He will support you as well as me."

"And what about Oni-sama? He is our lord, too, with father gone."

"Onigumo is a man, and a trecherous one at that. Who's fault was it that father was killed? He can survive on his own. But you, you are a little girl. You need me, and as your sister, I will help you escape."

Hakori's flat tone dropped. "I do not wish to go, Oyama. And if you are wise, you will not go, either."

But I only heard the door open, and shut. I only heard my feet against the floor as I walked into the main room. I only saw Hakori, watching me with those soulless eyes. My hand reached for my dagger, which I had placed on the eating table earlier. My hand grasped air. Confused, I looked to the table, but my weapon was gone. Hakori spoke, slowly.

"Oyama has run away, Oni-sama."

We looked at one another for several minutes, and finally she turned away from me, but I saw her shaking. My hearted pounded in fear, anger, and hopelessness. I had to go after my elder sister...I couldn't let that girl simply walk out on this family. My mind was numb as I opened the door, nearly blasted to the ground by a cold wind. But I followed the footprints in the snow, wrapping my arms around myself, my tattered shirt and pants not buffering even the mildest chills. Soon, my skin was nearly blue, and my eyes were icing shut, but I saw Oyama in the distance.

She would not escape so easily.

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A/N: I did some editing on the timeframe, and edited all chapers to reflect that change. Thank you to Untamed Melody for the reviews! I love you thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much:P Next time gimme an IM addy so I can thank you in person! A note to everyone who read Mirror of Souls, it wasn't a one shot, and I will be updating that tonight, too. -cheers- Loves, everyone!


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